1. You start behaving like a Mormon Missionary and proselytize the benefits of a plant-based diet to everyone you know with copies of Forks Over Knives and The China Study. (Count em, 27 converts to date)
2. You spend so much time in the kitchen that you think “Maybe just this once pre-soaking my pinto beans ISN’T necessary.” Then later, you and everyone in a 12 mile radius of you seriously regrets you didn’t take the time to pre-soak.
3. You get all crunchy and granola like and start making your own soap and deodorant.
4. You get involved in things like the Virtual Vegan Potluck and you get your first facebook account. ever. so that you can hang out in the
top secret VVP batcave with the coolest co-horts ever, Annie and Jason.
5. You become one of those obsessed people (we’re victims, really) who can’t stop posting food porn or yet ANOTHER way to use cashew cheez in a recipe.
6. You lose weight even though you no longer count calories and you are forced to go out and buy an entirely new wardrobe.
7. After races, you recover ridiculously faster than you used to, so no-one feels sorry for you and you don’t get to take an “extra rest day” afterwards.
8. You feel like you know and love some of your blogging buddies (people you have never actually met) more than your next door neighbor.
9. You become star struck for the first time ever and start stalking celebrity Vegan Chefs like AJ and Ramses.
10. You have so much produce in your fridge, that fitting in yet another box of organic spinach in there becomes a precarious circus act. Things like ‘ears of corn’ topple out onto your head every time you open the door.
11. All of the money you saved by getting off prescription drugs goes towards your organic produce habit. You feel compelled to defend organic foods like an errant family member despite current evidence against it, because you are what you eat.
12. You start to feel “Dietarily Superior” to everyone who’s not plant based.
13. You have
less no constipation, so your regular reading of “Runner’s World Magazine” gets completely cut out of your schedule.
14. Even though you are all ready a dietary outcast (1-2% of the world is vegan), you still sometimes consider going raw, high-alkaline, gluten-free or all of the above to further alienate yourself at social gatherings and restaurants.
15. You sadly realize that even though being plant-based has completely reversed your Ulcerative Colitis and significantly reduced your risks of cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure and more, it has not cured your cankles or cellulite.
16. You have more kitchen gadgets than anyone you know but you can’t stop buying more, resulting in a severely receding counter-top space.
17. Your children get harassed at school because of the contents of their lunch box. Bully Child: “I thought you said your family didn’t eat meat, why are you eating a Turkey sandwich?” My child: “Um, that’s Tofurky.” Bully Child: “What’s a Tofurky?” My Child to me: “Mom, do I really have to drink a green smoothie everyday at lunch? Everyone stares at me!” (Actual comments) 😦
18. You feel like you’ve broken up just a little bit with some of your closest friends because you don’t share the same values regarding foods anymore. And truth be told, they probably think you’re a little crazy.
19. You feel compelled to blog constantly about your plant based devotion. So much so that you decide to ditch your best friends over at Good Clean Food and get your own dang blog. Sorry girls.
20. You get overly excited when you have a new recipe to share, as if it’s going to change the world! Well, just maybe it will, one plate at a time.